Here are some thoughts and sayings I posted on Twitter and/or Facebook in July. To my knowledge, I made these up (for better or for worse). Sit back, relax, and enjoy the write!

Encouraging Words

1. I’ve worked out the perfect system for getting everything done. Unfortunately, it’s prone to break down when a wrench gets thrown into it.
2. Destiny is 1/4 chance and 3/4 preparation.
3. Is it just me, or am I still who I am?
4. Whoever put the cat in the bag really should let it out.
5. If you are trapped in convention, you will always be conventional.
6. Did you miss me? I didn’t. I’ve been with me the whole time.

Twisted Words

1. If you’re bored, what wood you do?
2. It is better to be pronounced than verbose.
3. Speaking of witch, a which can’t spell.
4. When people ask me my sign, I usually answer, “Stop.”
5. I do things by the seat of my pants. Sometimes I wish my jeans would quit taking so many risks.
6. A police chef is the officer in charge of preparing the food.

Holidays & Events

1. Perhaps the mascot of this year’s Summer Olympics in London should be “Sunshine.”
2. Happy July 4th + 10! Thank goodness I enjoy the freedom to wish you a belated happy American Independence Day on Bastille Day.
3. Gotham, Wisconsin looks nothing like it’s portrayed in the “Batman” movies.
4. Word has it that the sequel to Pixar’s animated film “Brave” will be called “Even Braver.”
5. Rumor has it that in the sequel to “The Amazing Spider-Man,” Andrew Garfield and Tobey Maguire will duke it out over whose girlfriend, Gwen Stacy or Mary Jane Watson, is more awesome.

Random Musings

1. Every place in the world looks like someplace else.
2. Spotted at the Customer Service counter of a major retailer: “Many happy returns.”
3. I’ve thought about being a stand-up comedian, but I prefer to sit down.
4. Why do subtitles say “English for the Hearing Impaired” when every other language is listed by name only?
5. One literary benefit of Twitter is that it teaches one to be succinct.
6. I can get 50,000 Twitter followers in 2 minutes! Ask me how, but please don’t expect an answer.
7. Follow me and get 5,000 Twitter followers instantly! Never mind that I only have 3,000. You can borrow some if you’d like.
8. Prolific tweeter seeks tweeters for long-term follow on Twitter. Must tweet good content. If interested, press the “Follow” button.

In Its Own Write

26. I probably should write something now. “Something.” There, that should do it.

Images courtesy of Microsoft and Twitter.

Click here to read the previous batch of Thoughts and Sayings.

M.G. Edwards is a writer of books and stories in the mystery, thriller and science fiction-fantasy genres. He also writes travel adventures. He is author of Kilimanjaro: One Man’s Quest to Go Over the Hill, a non-fiction account of his attempt to summit Mount Kilimanjaro, Africa’s highest mountain and a collection of short stories called Real Dreams: Thirty Years of Short Stories. His books are available as an e-book and in print on Amazon.com and other booksellers. He lives in Bangkok, Thailand with his wife Jing and son Alex.

For more books or stories by M.G. Edwards, visit his web site at www.mgedwards.com or his blog, World Adventurers. Contact him at me@mgedwards.com, on Facebook, on Google+, or @m_g_edwards on Twitter.

© 2012 Brilliance Press. All rights reserved. No part of this work may be reproduced or transmitted without the written consent of the author.