Election 2012

Thoughts & Sayings (November 2012)

Here are some thoughts and sayings I posted on Twitter and/or Facebook in October. To my knowledge, I made these up (for better or for worse). Sit back, relax, and enjoy the write!

Encouraging Words

1. I keep pressing on, but nothing sticks.

2. I didn’t like the way the ball bounces, so I put up bumpers.

3. Five of my senses are keeping up with me, but the sixth one is lagging behind.

Twisted Words

4. Time is a spyce.

In Its Own Write

5. Many happy writeturns.

Holidays & Events

6. Sandy decided to be Sue Storm for Halloween.

7. Gaffer: A public figure who makes a gaffe.

8. “Gee, you candidates gotta play nice or you’re gonna get a time out!” — Big Bird

9. I wonder what Christopher Columbus did to celebrate Columbus Day.

Random Musings

10. Why do we make time by not doing something?

11. People change fast, but places evolve over time.

12. I debated with myself over whether to watch the debates. Myself won, and I lost. Me looked on.

13. I got my Outlook calendar, contacts, and tasks on iPad by synching Google Apps with Outlook, uploading the data to Google Cloud, and then synching it with a third-party app on iPad. It’s easy and only takes a week to set up.

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Images courtesy of Microsoft.

M.G. Edwards is a writer of books and stories in the mystery, thriller and science fiction-fantasy genres. He also writes travel adventures. He is author of Kilimanjaro: One Man’s Quest to Go Over the Hill, a non-fiction account of his attempt to summit Mount Kilimanjaro, Africa’s highest mountain, a collection of short stories calledReal Dreams: Thirty Years of Short Storiesand Alexander the Salamander, a children’s story set in the Amazon. His books are available to purchase as an e-book and in print from Amazon.com and other booksellers. He lives in Bangkok, Thailand with his wife Jing and son Alex.

For more books or stories by M.G. Edwards, visit his web site at www.mgedwards.com or his blog, World Adventurers. Contact him at me@mgedwards.com, on Facebook, on Google+, or @m_g_edwards on Twitter.

© 2012 Brilliance Press. All rights reserved. All characters and events appearing in this work are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons or events is purely coincidental. No part of this work may be reproduced or transmitted without the written consent of the author.

Thoughts and Sayings (April 2012)

Here are some thoughts and sayings I posted on Twitter and/or Facebook in March. To my knowledge, I made these up (for better or for worse). Sit back, relax, and enjoy the write!

Encouraging Words

1. When you overestimate your abilities, you end up feeling shortchanged.

2. I’m swimming in the sea of life when I’d rather be on the shore sipping on a drink and watching the sunset.

3. I’m writing my pièce de résistance. I’ve struggled with it for so long that it will never stop fighting with me.

4. I’m determined to get something done today. Does drinking coffee count?

5. The tongue is mightier than the pen.

6. Seize the day! If you do, be prepared for a struggle.

7. If your dream has become a nightmare, it’s time for a new one.

8. The best way to attract real friends is to be real.

Twisted Words

9. Why can’t “good afternoon” be “good beforeevening“?

10. Says the cream puff to the chocolate éclair: “Wow, this place is desserted.”

11. Warning: Ultraviolent rays have the ability to kill you.

12. Aerodramatic: The art of crying at the speed of flight.

13. I’m not sure if I’m more sardonic or sarcastic. Perhaps sardoncastic.

14. Don’t take wood for granite.

15. Overheard at a meeting of contortionists: “Be flexible!”

16. Never suggest a health condition is grave to someone who is terminally ill.

Holidays & Events

17. Happy St. Patrick’s Day! Since you’re in the green, I get the gold.

18. Beware the Ides of March,” said the soothsayer to Julius Caesar. His English was impeccable.

19. Beware, beware the Ides of March! Psst…what’s an ‘Ides’?

20. Heading into Super Tuesday, the polls showed that the new iPad is leading by a wide margin.

21. Happy Cinco de Marzo! Oh, wait, sorry. I’ll be back in a couple of months.

22. I forgot that yesterday was Leap Year and marched right past it.

Random Musings

23. European chocolates are delicious but too delectable to eat like candy.

24. Why aren’t there any books with the opening sentence, “It was a bright and calm morning?”

25. A guy walks into a bar. It was metal. It hurt.

26. My bed is calling. For some reason, it’s saying, “You have reached a non-working number. Please hang up and try again.”

27. Thank you for paying attention to me. However, my medium of exchange is cash.

28. You have reached a real person. If you feel you’ve reached me in error and prefer an automated system, contact 800-SPAM-BOT.

29. When food is revolting, does it rebel against you?

Intra-galactic Sophomoric Humor

30. Uranus is the most joked about planet in the solar system.

31. Earth stands between Mars and Venus to keep them from fighting.

32. The moon always moons the earth at night so that it won’t get caught.

33. The planetoid Makemake has a satellite called “Dodo.”

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