boredom

Thoughts & Sayings (August 2012)

Here are some thoughts and sayings I posted on Twitter and/or Facebook in July. To my knowledge, I made these up (for better or for worse). Sit back, relax, and enjoy the write!

Encouraging Words

I’ve worked out the perfect system for getting everything done. Unfortunately, it’s prone to break down when a wrench gets thrown into it.
Destiny is 1/4 chance and 3/4 preparation.
Is it just me, or am I still who I am?
Whoever put the cat in the bag really should let it out.
If you are trapped in convention, you will always be conventional.
Did you miss me? I didn’t. I’ve been with me the whole time.

Twisted Words

If you’re bored, what wood you do?
It is better to be pronounced than verbose.
Speaking of witch, a which can’t spell.
When people ask me my sign, I usually answer, “Stop.”
I do things by the seat of my pants. Sometimes I wish my jeans would quit taking so many risks.
A police chef is the officer in charge of preparing the food.

Holidays & Events

Perhaps the mascot of this year’s Summer Olympics in London should be “Sunshine.”
Happy July 4th + 10! Thank goodness I enjoy the freedom to wish you a belated happy American Independence Day on Bastille Day.
Gotham, Wisconsin looks nothing like it’s portrayed in the “Batman” movies.
Word has it that the sequel to Pixar’s animated film “Brave” will be called “Even Braver.”
Rumor has it that in the sequel to “The Amazing Spider-Man,” Andrew Garfield and Tobey Maguire will duke it out over whose girlfriend, Gwen Stacy or Mary Jane Watson, is more awesome.

Random Musings

Every place in the world looks like someplace else.
Spotted at the Customer Service counter of a major retailer: “Many happy returns.”
I’ve thought about being a stand-up comedian, but I prefer to sit down.
Why do subtitles say “English for the Hearing Impaired” when every other language is listed by name only?
One literary benefit of Twitter is that it teaches one to be succinct.
I can get 50,000 Twitter followers in 2 minutes! Ask me how, but please don’t expect an answer.
Follow me and get 5,000 Twitter followers instantly! Never mind that I only have 3,000. You can borrow some if you’d like.
Prolific tweeter seeks tweeters for long-term follow on Twitter. Must tweet good content. If interested, press the “Follow” button.

In Its Own Write

26. I probably should write something now. “Something.” There, that should do it.

Images courtesy of Microsoft and Twitter.

Click here to read the previous batch of Thoughts and Sayings.

M.G. Edwards is a writer of books and stories in the mystery, thriller and science fiction-fantasy genres. He also writes travel adventures. He is author of Kilimanjaro: One Man’s Quest to Go Over the Hill, a non-fiction account of his attempt to summit Mount Kilimanjaro, Africa’s highest mountain and a collection of short stories called Real Dreams: Thirty Years of Short Stories. His books are available as an e-book and in print on Amazon.com and other booksellers. He lives in Bangkok, Thailand with his wife Jing and son Alex.

For more books or stories by M.G. Edwards, visit his web site at www.mgedwards.com or his blog, World Adventurers. Contact him at me@mgedwards.com, on Facebook, on Google+, or @m_g_edwards on Twitter.

The “Paraguay” Diet

Now that life is starting to settle down here in Virginia, I’ve focused more on getting in shape. Once upon a time, I thought rather foolishly that I could go on the “Korean” diet and miraculously lose weight. What’s the “Korean”diet? Well, I’m not quite sure–I never figured it out. It’s essentially the contention that most Koreans are in decent shape, despite the fact that Korean food–at least what you buy in the restaurant–is rather fattening, and not a few Koreans smoke, drink, and work too much (read: sit most of the day at a desk). I assumed that if I acted Korean, at least in terms of consumption and activity, I too would lose weight. Au contraire (that’s French, not Korean). I gained weight. Someone let me know that Korean physiology lends itself to thinness, and I am of stout Anglo-Scandinavian stock that gravitates towards rotundity and portliness.

So the “Korean” diet didn’t work. Now that we are headed to Paraguay, I decided to go on the “Paraguay” diet. So, what’s that? Well, it doesn’t have anything to do with the cuisine. As I understand it, Paraguayan cuisine is rife with red meat (read: beef) and starch (something called “sopa,” a potato-ish vegetable). The “Paraguay” diet has more to do with having a significantly heightened level of physical activity. The January edition of the Foreign Service Journal rated Asunción, Paraguay one of the worst Foreign Service posts because it is so “boring.” (That is obviously an unscientific observation by someone who either doesn’t get out enough or needs to find some new hobbies.) Frankly, boring is fine with me. Boredom is preferable to bullets, blackouts, blizzards, and excessive beasties found at some posts worldwide. It lets me focus on the “Paraguay” diet; that is, fill the down time with physical activity that necessitates the slendering of my body.

Whereas the “Korean” diet focused on what I eat, the “Paraguay” diet focuses on what I do. I’ve never found that dieting helps me lose weight, unless I completely cut out eating sugary foods. My body responds much better to physical activity and beating it into submission by working out until I am sore (like today, when I rode my repaired bicycle back and forth from home to work.

I’ve already started the “Paraguay” diet by doing sit ups, cycling, and walking as much as possible. I bought a pedometer to measure my caloric burn rate, but so far, it’s been disappointing. It’s disheartening killing yourself to burn 300 calories. I’m hoping that by the time I arrive in Paraguay I will be so far along on my regimen that it will be easy to continue; bad streets, cobblestones, tropical weather, and petty theft be damned!