The stiletto heel dance

This may be funny to some but not to others.  Korean women often wear high-heeled shoes.  Stiletto-heeled shoes are especially fashionable.  It’s not so fashionable, though, to get those stilettos caught in pavement crevasses or between cobblestones while walking on the street.  Every once in awhile, while one walks through the streets of Seoul, one notices a stylishly-dressed woman suddenly stop, look down, back up, lift her leg slightly, and then move forward again, as if pirouetting during a dance sequence.  Most of these ladies seem well-trained in the art of keeping their dignity intact while extracting their heels from offending crevasses.  They make it look good rather than embarassing, and effortless to boot.  The odds are good that walking in Seoul wearing stiletto heels will inevitably result in such incidents.  It makes me glad that I don’t wear stiletto-heeled shoes.

Jeju, Land of the Phallusians

Dear Reader, before you read tonight’s entry, I urge you to review the accompanying photo album so that you can see for yourself that I am not merely engaging in sophmoric humor when I write that Jeju Island is a maternal culture with an hyperactive fixation on a prominent feature of the male anatomy.  The island has never served as a penile colony, and yes, the culture is matriarchical.  BUT–and that’s a big BUT–as I stood and beheld Oedolgae, the lonely rock in Seogwipo, I was suddenly exposed to the naked truth that was hidden right before my very eyes!  It is a secret that quite possibly exists just to give the locals a jolly good laugh whenever they watch naive tourists mindlessly ogle the mysterious harubang, bulbous statues that have been erected around the island and stand at attention in kitschy souvenir shops.  The phallic images that fill Jeju Island are not limited to man-made creations.  Natural, hardened rock formations and pillars of cooled lava flows festoon the island, kindling the imagination.
 
Am I merely out of my head?  The nuances are hard to ignore once you uncover the truth.  Surely I’m not the only one who believes that Jeju Island was populated ages ago by libidinous voyeurs with phallic tendencies who passed these traditions on to their progeny…and spawned a generation of souvenir hawkers and tour agents.  Could early Jejuans have actually descended from the mythical Phallusians?  It’s enough to make you go…hmm.

Wearing your national pride

Happy Fourth of July, Dear Reader.  I hope you have a wonderful U.S. Independence Day holiday if you celebrate the event.  I was home today.  My wife, who works for a Korean firm, had to work.  I spent the day with my son and took him to the swimming pool.  He did a fabulous job learning to tread water, a skill I’m sure will come in handy throughout his life.  I’ve found it to be a very useful skill!
 
My wife showed her national pride today by wearing a shirt with an American flag at work.  She was in training all day, so I’m sure she didn’t raise the irk or inkling of her Korean peers.  Last night I went to the official Fourth of July festivities at the U.S. Ambassador’s residence sporting my American flag necktie.  The bottom of the tie features the 13 red and white stripes symbolizing the 13 original American colonies, and the upper portion features a blue blackground with at least 50 white stars.  The necktie was quite a conversation piece.  A few guests also wore patriotic American neckties, and we nodded with silent, mutual understanding that this is the one occasion when walking around wearing an America flag necktie is perfectly appropriate attire.  No less than a dozen guests commented on the tie and peppered me with questions.  "Is it silk?" some guests asked.  Yep.  "Did you buy it in Itaewon?" others asked, referring to the district in Seoul known for pirated knock-offs and kitschy souvenirs.  No, I bought it at a gift shop near our home.  "Was it made in America?" some inquired.  Alas, no–it was made in Korea.  "Was it expensive?" a few asked.  Nah, it only cost about $10.  It’s probably the best necktie investment I’ve ever made.  I only  plan wear it once a year on or before July 4th.  I’ve gotten more mileage from this $10 necktie than any other business suit accessory.  I’ll drag it out again next year in Paraguay.  I’ll have to practice fielding the same questions in Spanish.