Family

All Bases covered

Before I launch into a recap of the day’s events, I wanted to share a link to a web site I came across today.  It’s a site with an intriguing flash-animated storyline.  Someone surfed over to World Adventurers from this site.  I like to check out the blogs and web pages of others who visit World Adventurers, so I took a look.  I found it odd but thought-provoking.  Once I read a summary of the meaning behind the story, I found it really amusing.  You might too.  Or you might find it a bit too strange.  Be patient and watch for at least a minute until the pop culture images start.  If you are fascinated by the media, gaming, and/or science ficition, you’ll probably enjoy it.  I’ll post the link to the history behind the story tomorrow (you can find it yourself if you search).  For now, here’s the link:  http://www.planettribes.com/allyourbase/AYB2.swf.  Enjoy!
 
Today we had several families over for an American-style barbeque.  It was a veritable meatfest!  It definitely would not have appealed to vegetarians.  We grilled galbi (Korean-style pork ribs), kabobs, steaks, and hamburgers.  My neighbor, who also loves to grill, was a big help and shared grilling duties with me.  He even brought over some Samuel Adams and Corona beer to liven up the party.  The numerous side dishes, including potato salad and a green salad, were absolutely delicious.  We invited some of our good friends who also have children to join us.  The kids, who range in age from 17 months to 4 years, had a great time playing together and watching children’s videos.  For me, it was fun to grill again for the first time in a long time and spend time with good friends.  Lately my family hasn’t been very social.  We would like to meet up with friends more often.  Inviting people over for dinner can be a lot of work, especially when you invite four other families.  Tonight was a way for us to make up for lost time.
 
My son is in the middle of his terrible two’s, and lately he has been a pint-sized tyrant.  Tired and cranky but refusing to take a nap.  Spilling daddy’s soda can all over the front seats of our car.  Pulling the lower dishwasher rack with clean dishes onto the floor.  Running over his toys with his tricycle.  It has left his mom and me both weary and frustrated as we try to keep him out of trouble.  His behavior seems to go in cycles.  Many a week he is angelic, the best child any parent could have.  Yet every three weeks or so his demeanor changes and he becomes a handful, testing our patience.  We will persevere and will continue to work with him, teach him, and discipline him as needed in the hope that our angelic son will return.  We have often been told that this behavior is common among two-year-olds; hence, this age is infamously referred to as the "terrible two’s."  I wish I could say it will get better, but parents with much older children tell us it doesn’t get any easier to raise a child after age two (maybe they’ve forgotten how hard it was for them to take care of a two-year-old child).  Our son is a good kid at heart growing up in a loving family, and I am optimistic that he will grow up to be a great lad.  Right now though, I just want him to be more Dr. Jekyll and less Mr. Hyde.
 
I was happy to read that the seven-member crew of a Russian AS-28 rescue mini-submarine was itself rescued today off the coast of Kamchatka Peninsula, Russia.  The submarine had been entangled in fishing net cables 623 feet below the surface.  The Russian crew survived for three days underwater before an international rescue team rescued them.  The international rescue team consisted of Russian, British, U.S. and Japanese military personnel.  A British Scorpio submersible robot severed the cables and enabled the Russian mini-sub to return safely to port.  This was a much happier ending than what happened in 2000, when the Russian submarine Kursk sank in the Baltic Sea, killing 118 crewmen.  When the Kursk sank, the Russians refused to seek international assistance, and some speculate that the crew of the Kursk could have been saved if the Russians had called for help.  This time, Russia promptly called for international aid, and Britain, Japan, and the U.S. quickly responded.  With so much trouble and tragedy in the world, it’s great to read that international cooperation led to a happy ending.  I’m glad that the crew is safe.

Bilingualism

Happy Bastille Day to any French readers who stop by World Adventurers!  How about that…an American who wishes the French well.  It seems to happen less frequently nowadays.  Well, most Americans forget that if it weren’t for the French, we probably would not have won the American Revolution, and the French sold to us about one third of our country in 1803.  And of course America since 1803 has often come to France’s aid.  It’s a shame that we have neglected our common heritage and that our relations are strained now.  Maybe someday we will find more common ground.
 
My son is really starting to talk.  For now he speaks primarily Chinese with some English phrases.  Most of his English phrases come from videos and DVDs he watches, especially from the series, "Thomas the Tank Engine."  (Yes, he’s still a "Thomas" fanatic.)  Both his mom and I speak to him in both English and Chinese, although she uses mostly Chinese, and I use mostly English with a smattering of stock Chinese phrases.  This is unfortunate, because we hear so often that in order for our son to grow up bilingually we need to segregate our languages so that his mom only speaks Chinese and I only speak English to him.  However, it’s so easy for both of us to lapse back into talking in whatever common language combination we find most convenient.  I wonder why it’s so hard to segregate languages and speak only in our native tongues at home.  I’ve given this some thought, and I came up with a few observations that might be interesting to mixed couples grappling with bilingual issues.
 
For one, I also want to practice my Chinese.  Speaking to a toddler in a foreign language really is a good way to improve your own foreign language skills if your own language ability is lacking.  My wife speaks fabulous English, so she does not need to practice her English.  Most bi-racial couples speak primarily in one language because one partner is typically not as fluent in the other language.  Still, those of us who do not speak the second language well often appreciate the opportunity to improve our language ability.  Our children give us that opportunity.
 
Secondly, I think there’s a natural tendency for social groups to deconstruct existing languages and create new dialects.  It happens worldwide.  The French spoken in Haiti is not the same as French spoken in Paris.  Groups tend toward linguistic commonalities, and families are no exception.  In our family, Chinese and English are both spoken, and as our son learns both language our entire family tends towards a common lingua franca.  For example, my son might say, "Mommy yao kan D."  "Mommy" means "mommy," "yao kan" is Chinese for "want to watch," and "D" refers to "DVD."  "D" is a word made up by our son because a few months ago he could not pronounce the word, "DVD."  So now his mom, my son, and I all say "D" in lieu of "DVD."  It’s the foundation of a new language.
 
Thirdly, he is still learning both languages.  Tonight I told him the English word "stimulating" for the first time.  As a toddler he has no idea what I mean by "stimulating."  Using standard English or Chinese phrases that all of us understands helps us all communicate better.  Still, in the long run this can be an impediment to his language learning.  At some point our son will choose one language (probably English) and will adopt it as his native tongue.  He will likely understand spoken Chinese and may speak it, but perhaps not very well.  And he never learn to write Chinese characters.  Of course that’s not what we want.  We want him to be fluent in both languages.  It will be better for him in the long run.  I’m convinced that everyone should learn a second language.  That’s why this week I started speaking to him only in English and encouraged his mom to do the same in Chinese.  Names such as "baba" (daddy) and "mommy" will still remain spoken either English or Chinese.  But it’s no longer "Baba shang ban," it’s "Baba goes to work."  I hope this won’t confuse him too much and will help him better learn both languages.

Checking in from China

I talked to my wife tonight on the phone. She has been in China with my son since early last week. They are doing very well. Life in Shanghai is not as comfortable or convenient as it is in Seoul, but she’s glad she went home to spend time with family. My wife and son are staying with my in-laws, who as you might recall returned to China last December before we left for Seoul. My sister-in-law’s family, who also live in Shanghai, met my son for the first time. My son has really taken a liking to his aunt (probably because she is a lot like his mom, her sister). They all live in pretty cramped quarters and have had a few minor family quarrels, but all in all, the visit has been a good one. My son really misses me. Whenever he sees a photo of me, he says excitedly, “Baba!” the Chinese word for “daddy.” I can’t wait to see them again. My temporary, pseudo-bachelor life has its good moments, but there’s nothing like being with the ones you love.

My son is apparently quite a celebrity in China. As a mixed-blooded child—half American, half-Chinese—he obviously looks different than Chinese children. My wife told me that strangers go out of the way to meet the little guy because he looks so different. She recently took him to a neighborhood photography studio for a photo session. The session so well that the studio acquired the rights to his photos and will display his album as a studio sample. He is a very photogenic kid. (I’m glad he inherited his mother’s good looks!) Although my son has been noticed here in Seoul, he has gotten far more attention in China than he has in Korea. This may be because Koreans have seen so many foreigners and mixed-blooded children that they are no longer a novelty. Chinese, on the other hand, have experienced much less exposure to foreigners and have met few mixed-blooded children. When I first visited China in 1994, I received many inquisitive looks from Chinese. I was a bit of a novelty, even when I was in Shanghai. However, in recent years the foreign mystique has diminished, and many Chinese now won’t give foreigners a second glance.

On the other hand, mixed-blooded children in China born to a foreign parent are still relatively rare. As a result, like my son, mixed-blooded children still elicit stares from Chinese. And Chinese typically hold them in high regard. Some Chinese believe that mixed-blooded children are physically more beautiful than either full-blooded Chinese or foreigner (e.g. Western) children. A recent poll indicated that 63% of Chinese would like to marry a foreigner. During my 1994 visit to China, my wife and I received critical stares from strangers who disapproved of our bi-racial relationship. Now, our mixed marriage is apparently hip. Attitudes in China have changed dramatically in the past decade. This may explain why Chinese are generally favorably disposed to mixed-blooded children. Rather than being a social burden, mixed-blooded children have become a status symbol of sorts.

Koreans, in contrast, typically do not hold mixed-blooded children in such high esteem. Koreans tend to prefer full-blooded Korean or non-Korean children. This is partly due to the fact that some mixed-blooded children in Korea are born out of wedlock to Korean mothers who are abandoned by foreign partners (particularly soldiers) who leave the country. Many of these children are born into unfortunate circumstances where the father reneges on his responsibility to take care of the child and disappears from their life. It is a very interesting contrast between two cultures that are similar in many ways but differ in some key social aspects. It is partly a product of cultural and historical influences.