Korea

Adjusting to Life in Korea

Tonight I put together a presentation I will deliver on Friday to about 60 new American English teachers who just arrived in Korea.  The presentation title is "Adjusting to Life in Korea."  I have to give a 30-45 talk on Korean culture and offer suggestions on how to assimilate into Korean culture.  Here is a summary of what I plan to discuss on Friday.  I’ll mention this site to them too, so they can visit World Adventurers to review what I discussed.  Most have never been to Korea, and many have never visited or lived in Asia.  If you have any suggestions for improving this presentation, please post a comment. 
 
My presentation includes many generalizations about both American and Korean culture, and it assumes that American culture is largely influenced by Western philosophy, particularly liberalism and rationalism, and that Korean culture is influenced by Eastern philosophy, especially Confucianism, neo-Confucianism, Daoism, and Buddhism.  Christianity is a common thread between Korean and American culture; however, the two cultures are relatively dissimilar.  These dissimilarities are largely driven by dominant Eastern and Western philosophies prevalent in Korea and the U.S., respectively.
 
Here is a summary of the presentation:
  • American Values
    • Individualism
    • Freedom of choice
    • Equal opportunity
    • Diversity
    • Free-thinking
    • Flexibility
  • Korean Values
    • Social conformity
    • Consensus
    • Heirarchy
    • Homogeneity
    • Duty to family and faith
    • Determinism
  • Helpful Suggestions
    • Learn the Korean language
    • Make some good Korean friends
    • Learn to eat spicy, "exotic" food
    • Get off the beaten path (go where the foreigners ain’t)
    • Buy or rent a cell phone
    • Shop at local markets (to find less expensive items)
    • Pay when you invite others
    • No need to tip unless the service is extraordinary
  • Cultural Do’s
    • Be a cultural ambassador
    • Be open, friendly, and patient
    • Watch Korean movies and TV programs
    • Learn to sing Korean songs
    • Speak as much Korean as often as you can
    • Be aware of family issues when dating Koreans
    • Encourage inter-cultural group activities
  • Cultural Don’ts
    • Don’t bring up controversial topics (e.g. Japanese colonialism, Dokdo Islands)
    • Don’t be offended by personal questions
    • Don’t be overly critical of Korean culture
    • Don’t be afraid to tell Koreans your limitations (e.g. vegetarian, non-smoker, non-drinker)
    • Don’t expect to "go native" (you will never truly be Korean, no matter how hard you try)
    • Don’t expect to make good, close friendships quickly
    • Don’t be upset when you’re stereotyped (e.g. military, English teacher)
 Again, your comments are welcome.  This is only a draft and subject to change.
 

Go your own way

It’s been often said that when you eat at an ethnic restaurant, go where the locals go and avoid the ones that are empty or filled with foreigners.  Well, that’s not always true.  Last night, we went out for dinner and looked around Seoul for a place to eat.  We wanted standard Korean fare–the usual bulgogi, galbi, and bibimbap.  We passed over a couple of empty restaurants, figuring that they were empty on Saturday night for a reason; namely, they weren’t very good.  Instead, we went into a restaurant filled with Koreans.  We had no idea what food the restaurant served when we went in.  It turns out that the restaurant served spicy pork bone soup with potato and sesame leaves.  In Korea, most restaurants have a single specialty that they do well and accent the dish with panchan, or side dishes.  This restaurant specialized in a particular Korean dish not often served in other Korean restaurants.  It was delicious, despite the fact that it doesn’t sound very appetizing to the Western palette.  The pork and sesame in spicy broth actually taste pretty good.  Still, the meal we ate wasn’t exactly what we wanted to eat.  It turns out that the empty restaurant next door served bulgogi, galbi, and bibimbap, the usual Korean fare.  Of course, that’s exactly what most Koreans don’t want to eat when they go out on a Saturday night.  They can get standard Korean fare at home anytime.  Instead, Koreans would rather go for something a bit more exotic like pork bone soup.  Today, we went for lunch at a familiar Korean restaurant and got our fill of wet bulgogi.  As expected, the restaurant was virtually empty, and most customers were foreigners.  Sometimes the old adage I mentioned isn’t true.  Sometimes it’s better to avoid the places where the locals go and stick with what you want to eat.  Otherwise, you might be unpleasantly surprised.  The bulgogi may not be the best, but it will taste better than something not appealing to your taste buds.
 
From the "Things that Make You Go…Hmm" Department:  It annoys me that the signature lines on Korean credit card slips is so small.  Most signature lines are small, one-inch boxes in the lower-right corner of credit card slips.  Today, I finally realized that that is because Koreans sign their name in hangeul (한글), Korea’s unique writing system.  Koreans need far less space to sign their names than do westerners, because  Hangeul signatures are much more compact than Romanized signatures.  I’ve learned to abbreviate my own signature so it will fit in the signature box.  It’s just one of many little quirky things about Korean culture I’ve realized in the brief time I’ve been here that are different from the United States.  For example, if you own a foreign car (non-Korean), be prepared to have difficulties finding common car parts and accessories.  If you need an oil change for your Toyota, you have to bring the oil and air filters with you.  The local garages don’t carry them.  You will either have to order them online or go to a Toyota dealership, which will have to order the parts from Japan just like any other car part.  So it is in Korea.

A bit closer to Korean culture

Tonight I joined some new acquaintances for dinner at a local seafood restaurant.  I met them during a recent Fourth of July celebration.  They graciously invited my family for dinner this evening.  My wife had planned to attend but had an unfortunate conflict, so instead I joined the two of them by myself at a great little restaurant not far from where I work.  The establishment served traditional Korean dishes, many of which I have never eaten before.  We feasted on Korean sushi, octopus, kimchi, beef and Asian radish, clams, cabbage soup, fish, and several other dishes.  We drank delicious, smooth Korean rice wine.  The meal was a delight to the palate.  It was a shame that they brought so much food that we couldn’t eat it all.
 
One of my Korean acquaintances spoke very little English.  However, she did speak some Chinese.  The other acquaintance had lived in Germany for awhile, so throughout the dinner we spoke a hodge podge of languages.  At different times we spoke English, Chinese, German, and Korean.  It was fun to mix up languages and butcher each one of them, but somehow manage to carry on a fluid, diverse conversation.  Our conversation drifted from topic to topic.  In my insatiable desire to learn more about Korea, I asked question after question about Korean culture and etiquette.  I gleaned many pearls of wisdom from my acquaintances about what it means to be Korean and why Koreans do what they do.  I shared my own insights into American culture, and we agreed that once we found common ground that bridged American and Korean culture, we had a lot in common.  We agreed that miscommunication and misinterpretation are often the biggest barriers to building mutual understanding between Koreans and foreigners.  Don’t get me wrong–the evening was a lot of fun and was not merely an exposition of Korean culture.  We all agreed that it was nice to get out and socialize for a change (they also spend most of their nights at home with their families).  Nevertheless, the evening was very much one of those occasions when cultural differences stand front and center.  When you’re surrounded by those who share the same cultural mindset, it’s easy to forget about cultural differences because they tend to be minimal.  However, when you spend time with someone who is from another country and has never been to yours, culture looms large.
 
My acquaintances are the first Koreans I’ve spent time with who have never visited the United States.  It was a great opportunity for me get to know Koreans who have not had exposure to the U.S. and who know few other foreigners.  I noted some of the common cultural differences prone to misinterpretation, and I pointed these out to my acquaintances when needed.  For example, when one acquaintance picked up the bill, I offered to pay instead.  He gave me a look that said, "Why are you even asking?"  I explained that in the U.S. it is common courtesy to at least offer to pay all or a portion of the bill.  Even if it is a feigned ritual, and the one who offers to pay has no intention to pay at all, it is still polite to do so in American culture.  In China, and I’m assuming in Korea as well, the one who extends the invitation generally pays the bill.  Instead, I promised to have them over for dinner to thank them for their hospitality.  Tonight it rained heavily.  When the rain stopped, we departed.  They offered me an umbrella.  Of course, as an American I was negligent in bringing an umbrella.  On the other hand, they had brought an extra one and gave it to me.  At first I declined their offer because doing so would have required me to return it to them at a later date.  Self-reliance, not depending on others, is an American virtue.  They insisted, saying that the polluted Korean rain would cause my hair to fall out.  I thought this was absurb and mused, I’m an American; I don’t need an umbrella.  I took it anyway.  In this instance, Korean courtesy trumped American self-reliance.