mgedwards – Page 306

Straight from the Headlines (2005 Edition)

Al Jazeera in Talks to Purchase ‘The Onion’

Doha, Qatar (RFN) – Arab network seeks to expand U.S. presence by purchasing popular U.S. news source ahead of highly anticipated IPO

Qatar-based Al Jazeera is in negotiations to purchase a majority stake in The Onion, a popular U.S. news source. Al Jazeera spokesman Jihad Ballout refused to confirm the network’s interest in purchasing the media company, citing regulatory concerns in advance of its upcoming initial public offering.

The company is interested in establishing an international media presence. It has also been in talks with London-based The Guardian to purchase a minority stake. The Onion, a weekly news publication read by millions in print and online, is one of the most popular news sources among 18-35 year olds in the U.S. Sources indicated that two companies are in the advance stage of negotiation, although negotiations in recent days have been delayed by disagreement over whether ‘The Onion’ would keep its name or change it to ‘Al Onion.’

Guantanamo Bay’s Tourism Industry Suffers from Prisoner Abuse Scandal

Guantanamo Bay, Cuba (RFN) – Tourism to Guantanamo Bay down 63% in 2004 due to allegations of prison abuse

Officials at Guantanamo Bay confirmed that recent prisoner abuse scandals have significantly depressed tourism in the U.S. enclave. Tourism had been robust in recent years as hundreds of Americans and other visitors visited the small site in southeast Cuba. Tourism increased with the launch of Guantanamo Bay’s “See the Other Cuba” marketing campaign in 2003 and the increasing popularity of the site’s “Naval Reservation Boundary” tour. In 2003 344 tourists visited Guantanamo Bay. By 2004 tourism dropped to just 217, a decrease of 63%. Officials believe that tourism may recover to its previous level once the scandals have been resolved.

Korean Star May End Film Career

Seoul (RFN) – Popular Korean film star Bae Yong Jun may end his film career to concentrate on other endeavors

Korean film star Bae Yong Jun, affectionately known as ‘Yonsama’ and ‘BYJ’ to his legions of fans, may be filming his last film. The star of the popular “Winter Sonata” drama series is currently filming the highly anticipated film, “April Snow.” When asked by reporters about his future plans, the star responded, “I’m not sure. I might try telemarketing. People say I have a great voice for it.”

Fans worldwide were shocked and dismayed by the revelation that Bae might leave acting. Distraught Yonsama fan, Yuri Kurasawa of Fukuoka said, “I don’t know what I’ll do if Yonsama retires. They can have Dokto [Islands]—just let us have Yonsama!”

“I love BYJ. Where will he work? I want to call him!” asked Kim Haejin of Seoul.

Bae’s “Winter Sonata” series contributed over $1.1 billion in Korean-Japanese trade in 2004 and has become a popular contraband item in North Korea.

‘Star Wars’ Shocker: Anakin Skywalker’s Father Revealed

Skywalker Ranch (RFN) – The third and final installment in the ‘Star Wars’ saga opening May 19 reveals that Senator Palpatine is Darth Vader’s father

Director George Lucas has been mum on the subject, but unidentified sources close to the filming of “Revenge of the Sith” confirm that the character of Senator Palpatine, also known as Darth Sidious, is Anakin Skywalker’s father by birth. Skywalker, better known as Darth Vader, has long been associated with immaculate conception by his mother. Because fans reacted favorably to the revelation that Darth Vader was Luke Skywalker’s father in the movie “The Empire Strikes Back,” Lucas decided to use the same strategy in filming his latest installment in the saga.

“We needed to do well with this film because the last two did so poorly. We believe this will help bring back the magic of the first three films. George [Lucas] still regrets writing Jar Jar Binks into the script,” the source confirmed. “If we throw in Chewbacca, Luke and Leia, why not make Palpatine his dad? We’re still trying to figure out how to write Han Solo as a baby into the script.”

ACLU Seeks an End to April Fool’s Day

Los Angeles (RFN) – The American Civil Liberties Union, citing possible civil rights violations on April Fool’s Day, plan lawsuits to end practical jokes

The American Civil Liberties Union announced today that it welcomes anyone who believes they are a potential victim of April Fool’s Day to contact the civil rights organization. The ACLU will prepare cases for eligible claims in an effort to stamp out the common household and office practice. If you believe you have wrongly duped by an April Fool’s Day joke and seek redress, contact the ACLU at 968-3665 (YOU-FOOL).

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Es ist Zeit, Deutsch noch einmal zu lernen

I recently received some very good news. I can now bid on Spanish posts for my next assignment. I signed up for a self-study Spanish in anticipation of improving my Spanish so I could bid on Spanish-speaking posts for my next job assignment. I planned to self-study for three months and then test in Spanish in order to improve my language score. Fortunately, the criteria for qualifying for a language-required post recently changed, and my current Spanish score now makes me eligible for a short Spanish language course after I leave Korea. Consequently, I can now bid on Spanish-required posts. Although I know Chinese and can pursue assignments at Chinese-speaking posts, I need to have a backup plan in case I don’t qualify for a Chinese-speaking assignment. Learning Spanish opens up a number of new job possibilities.

Es ist Zeit, Deutsch noch einmal zu lernen. ("It’s time to learn German again.") My German score falls a bit short of qualifying for a short course, so I will now switch my focus to improving my German. The chance of being assigned to a German-required post after Seoul is slim, because German-speaking posts in Germany, Austria, and Switzerland are all in high demand. However, exam scores are good for five years, and improving my German will allow me to pursue jobs at German posts in the distant future. If I am successful in improving my German, then I’ll focus on improving my French. French is spoken in more locations than is German. Frankly though, many of the French-speaking job possibilities outside Paris are not too appealing because my French-speaking posts are often marked by violence and political instability. I would really like to improve my increasingly rusty and meager Korean, but the nature of my work requires that I focus on the future more than the present. I will bid on my next assignment in early 2006, so I have one year to improve all of my foreign languages in order to bid the wide range of posts possible. Because I will likely not return to Korea anytime soon, I am moderately interested in improving my Korean. Once I leave Korea, my Korean will undoubtedly fade into memory. In the future I need to be very fluent in at least two foreign languages. I plan to focus on achieving fluency in Chinese and Spanish because both languages are much more widely spoken than Korean. Korean is also a very, very difficult language to master. In my opinion, Chinese is much easier to speak than Korean, and both languages are classified at the same level of difficulty.

In other news, today I had lunch with coworkers at Phở Hōa, a Vietnamese noodle soup restaurant in downtown Seoul. (Phở, pronounced "fuh," is the Vietnamese term for noodle soup.) I love eating at Phở Hōa. It’s a specialty chain based in Sacramento, California with franchises throughout the U.S. and Asia. My wife and I often ate at Phở Hōa when we lived in Seattle. We couldn’t find any restaurants while living in the Washington, D.C. area, so when my coworkers suggested it I enthusiastically said yes. I ordered the same dish I always ordered in Seattle, phở noodle soup with beef flank and brisket. It tasted just like I remembered it. The soup was definitely a welcome change from Korean, Chinese, and American food I eat all the time.

I realize I frequently write about food. There’s a few reasons why I do. For one, I love food. I am always on the "see food" diet–I see food, and I eat it. Secondly, food is a very important part of one’s culture, and no cultural discussion would be complete without talking about ethnic cuisine (even American–Kentucky Fried Chicken qualifies as ethnic American food in my book). Thirdly, many social gatherings take place over meals. Meals provide a great setting for socializing and getting to know others. Lastly, food is a relatively innocuous topic to discuss. Instead of focusing on controversial topics such as politics, it’s much easier to talk about food without stirring controversy. You can almost never go wrong with food–unless you insult the cook, of course!

Not just another day

Our final shipment of household goods arrived today, shattering the peace and quiet we’d been enjoying. If you’ve been reading about our adventures in Korea, you might be wondering, "Wait, how many shipments are coming? You must have a lot of stuff." The answer is, yes, we shipped ourselves too much stuff. Our household goods from Seattle that had been in storage left via cargo ship in early January, and our air freight soon followed. Our car arrived last week, and we just received our final shipment from our temporary home in Washington, D.C. That shipment left just before we moved to Korea. One and a half months in transit is very fast. Many of my colleagues around the world who left the states last year still have not received their household goods. Unfortunately, now we have to figure out how to consolidate two households, our Seattle and Washington, D.C. households, and find places to store items we don’t need. When I put in the orders to ship our stuff abroad, I had the crazy idea of shipping as much as possible so we didn’t miss anything important. Living abroad however is much like traveling abroad–don’t take more than you need. Now we have to figure out what to do with all of our stuff without unnecessarily cluttering up our home.

At lunchtime I joined my conversation partner for lunch. Although she is Korean, she suggested having lunch at Burger King. I was surprised by her choice, but I obliged. She explained that Koreans love American fast food, especially McDonald’s and Burger King. I have not yet seen a Mickie D’s in Korea, but I’ve seen at least three Burger King restaurants in Seoul. Downtown Seoul has many American fast food restaurants, and they’re all packed at lunchtime. The clientele appears to be generally younger than customers at Korean restaurants. She mentioned that Koreans love also love American-style barbeques. This summer I’m hoping to buy a grill (I love to grill). If I do I will invite Koreans over for American-style barbeque. It’s a great way to get to know Koreans and share American culture.

Tonight, amidst our unpacking, we ate dinner with a coworker and his wife. He is American, and she is Korean. They came bearing a housewarming gift–three boxes of Kleenex tissue. I thought this odd until they explained that Koreans traditionally come to house warmings with a gift of tissue. I appreciate the gesture, but I now have seven boxes of tissue to use up. We are very well supplied now. The Chinese meal my wife cooked was delicious, and I played host and cleaned up afterwards. The conversation was great. Although we could have spent the time unpacking, we enjoyed the company immensely. We haven’t done as much entertaining as we could. Life in Seoul is very conducive to getting together with friends, and our circle of friends and coworkers is ample.