A Rant against the corporate ladder

Today didn’t start out so well for me.  I attended a manager’s meeting and found out that I will be a “designated hitter” when it comes time to rotate to a new job at work.  Everyone else received a firm assignment.  I have often been in limbo when it comes to this career, so I am not surprised.  As they like to say, sometimes I have to “suck it up.”  I am one of the newest employees in a cluster of employees who arrived in the past nine months, so it isn’t surprising that I am held in limbo while others received assignments.  My assignment is contingent on someone else being chosen by the Powers That Be to move on to another highly-sought-after position.  Translation—after one of the veterans is chosen for the hotly contested job, they vacate their assignment, and I get to do the job they were originally assigned to do.  Gee, thanks.  I hate to complain, but the Fates have not been kind to me in their recent job forecasts.  So much in this line of work depends on timing—being in the right place at the right time.  For me to be in the rear of a cluster of employees means I will likely be passed over some great opportunities in favor of more veteran folks.  Seniority definitely counts.  Highly visible jobs?  No, those will go to the veterans.  Short-term assignments in other countries?  Probably not—those are earmarked for the ones passed up last time.  A good follow-on assignment when I’m finished in Seoul?  Not likely—most have already been taken and the Powers That Be are funnelling us into the jobs they want us to do, not necessarily ones we want to do.  It’s hard to be an optimist when you see a dark freight train chugging your way.  These opportunities come in vicious cycles, meaning that the first employee who followed me will slide into the top position for the next cycle of opportunities.  They will be positioned to be in the right place at the right time.  In hindsight, it might have been better to arrive about a month later in order to fall into the next cycle.  Will I complain at work?  Of course not!  I’ll suck it up and try to do my best to avoid falling into a job rut.  Ranting on a blog to an unknown audience is cathartic to me.  Thanks for reading.  I am definitely not alone in my frustration over job competition.  I’m sure that many people feel this way at work when they’re trying to climb the corporate ladder along with everyone else.  The trick is to climb the ladder without getting trampled while trying not to step on the backs of others.

Fortunately, the day ended with a smile.  I dropped my vehicle off this morning to be repaired (check the archives to read more about what happened to our poor car).  I returned at the end of the day to pick up the loaner vehicle lent to me until our car is fixed.  It turned out to be a brand-new Lexus sedan!  It’s beautiful.  I was shocked that they gave me such a nice rental.  I’m used to renting compact cars, not luxury sedans.  I personally prefer Bimmers and can’t wait to buy my own 5-series BMW.  However, this Lexus is very, very nice.  I hesitate to drive it around in chaotic Seoul traffic.  It’s a rental car, but I would hate to scratch or wreck it.  I’ll have to come up with some reasons to drive it around town.  Driving home in a Lexus was a nice end to a rather trying day.  I told them to take as long as they’d like to repair our car.

Tonight I joined some colleagues for buffalo wings and beer at a local pub.  I met a Korean friend of one of my coworkers.  She humored me by helping me practice my meager Korean.  She was patient, corrected my grammatical errors, and spoke Korean clearly and succinctly.  We carried on a brief conversation about language and travel.  I joked that I had learned how to talk about nuclear weapons in Korean, but I didn’t even know how to order a beer.  I was trained to conduct deep discourses in Korean, but I’m still lousy at chitchat.  She’s used to spending time with Americans and conversed freely in both English and Korean.  She even laughed at my wacky humor.  Contrast this experience with another Korean I met earlier today at lunchtime.  A Korean and Korean-American coworker invited me to join them for lunch.  We met up with my Korean-American coworker’s girlfriend.  She spoke no English and rarely spent time with foreigners.  She hardly said a word during our meal, although afterwards she freely conversed with someone on her cell phone.  I tried speaking a little Korean, and she nodded and smiled, but we did not have a conversation.  I felt as if my presence had put a damper on the meal, as if the conversation were muted because I was there.  This was completely unintentional. 

I find awkwardness to be one of the biggest challenges when trying to meet Koreans.  Many Koreans, male and female, are shy when it comes to getting to know foreigners.  I’ve heard that for the most part this isn’t due to a lack of interest.  I’ve been told by locals I know well that most Koreans are generally intrigued by foreigners.  It could be that they assume foreigners do not speak Korean and are self-conscious about speaking in a foreign language.  It could also be that foreigners are much different than Koreans—aliens, as it were.  Americans are particularly gregarious, a trait that can come across as abrasive in Korean culture.  I am usually open and jovial, so my friendliness may actually work against me when it comes to meeting Koreans.  I’ve been told by my Korean office mates that I’m considered “nice” around the office, but I have much less contact with Koreans than I would like.  I am slowly finding opportunities to get acquainted.  It’s a slow and arduous process reaching out across cultures to make acquaintances.

The invisible tie

I tried to bring some levity to work today, but the resulting humor was not what I expected.  I wore my white Mickey Mouse tie with my charcoal gray suit and deep blue dress shirt.  I’ve had the tie since I received it as a Christmas gag gift a long, long time ago.  I digged through my closet to inventory my ties when I came across the Mickey Mouse tie.  I’ve never really worn it because it’s such a bold fashion statement–who can take seriously someone who wears a Mickey Mouse tie?  Maybe if I were a Disney executive I could get away with wearing it, but I’m not supposed to be in the entertainment industry.  Lately work has been really hectic and in need of some lightheartedness, so I decided to be bold and wear my Mickey Mouse tie.  I thought it was a brilliant idea–subtle humor.  Keep in mind that my work iis a fairly buttoned-down place.  It was easy for me to assume that someone would notice if I came to work with a comical tie.  I even brought a backup tie, a red power tie, in the event that my brave move backfired. 

What happened at work was funny, but it wasn’t at all what I expected.  Not one person noticed my tie!  White on deep blue is hard not to notice.  People must have been so preoccupied thinking about work that they weren’t aware of their surroundings.  It’s like getting a haircut and then coming to work expecting people to notice.  No one noticed the Mickey Mouse tie.  I had to laugh.  People were so serious and distracted at work that they didn’t even notice humor right in front of their faces.  I talked to many people today, and they looked right at me and the tie dangling down my chest.  Perplexed, I finally asked a few people why they hadn’t noticed.  They laughed heartily and responded, "Well, I had no idea!."  Oh, so now you notice.  When a place becomes humorless, it’s sometimes not enough to lend humor.  Sometimes you also have to wake up the audience too.

Based on the lack of enthusiasm for my moderate attempt at humor, I’ve decided to add my Mickey Mouse tie to my regular business attire.  At least I’ll be laughing.

Literary musings

On Sunday I started reading a book I purchased early last year, “Eragon” by Christopher Paolini.  It’s a wonderful debut by a young man from rural Montana.  I haven’t had much time to read since I bought it, but I managed to read a bit yesterday while at work.  I read a little over 100 pages—not many, but as much as I could while monitoring laborers.  The novel is a fantasy about a 15-year-old boy named Eragon who finds an egg that hatches into a dragon.  Set in the mythical land of Alagaësia, it is the story of how dragons and dragon riders are reborn in an age when evil rules the land.  Touted as an epic reminiscent of J.R.R. Tolkien‘s works, the book is influenced by many fantasy classics, including the “Lord of the Rings” and “Dragonriders of Pern” series by Anne McCaffrey

I chose to read this book for three reasons.  First, I have long been a fan of fantasy and science fiction books.  I especially enjoyed reading C.S. Lewis ’ “Chronicles of Narnia,”  Tolkien’s “The Hobbit” and the “Lord of the Rings” trilogy, Piers Anthony’s “Xanth” and “Incarnations of Immortality” series, Terry Brooks’ “Shannara” series, and David Edding’s “Belgariad” and “Mallorean” series.  My love of fantasy began when I read Lloyd Alexander’s “The Black Cauldron” while in elementary school.  Although some would disagree with me, I still regard David Eddings’ twin series to be the prieminent works in the fantasy genre.  I remember reading the entire five-book “Belgariad” series in one weekend as a kid (I read a lot).  I digested fantasy novels as quickly as I could afford to buy them.  I rarely have time to read novels anymore.  Any reading time is usually spent studying foreign languages or perusing magazines.  I can’t remember the last novel I read.  Perhaps it was “Memoir of a Geisha,” an excellent debut novel by William Golding about the life of geisha in Japan from the 1920s to the 1950s.  Regardless, I rarely read anything in the fantasy genre anymore.  I did read J.K. Rowling’s "Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone" a couple years ago.  It was an enjoyable, easy read, but it lacked an epic struggle I always enjoy in a fantasy series.  Rowling’s villian Valdemort is too abstract a character, and Harry Potter is too front and center in the series.  Paolini’s "Eragon" is an excellent debut for a young writer, but it too lacks the depth of earlier fantasy series.

I also chose to read "Eragon" because the author’s story personally resonates with me.  Christopher Paolini grew up in a place I know well, Paradise Valley, Montana.  I also spent some of my childhood in Montana, and I see vivid images of Montana thread throughout his story.  Someone who has read “Eragon” but has never visited Montana might not pick up on the allegories of rural Montana he weaved into his story.  I can picture the mountains that surround the area where he grew up, the streams, forests, and valleys.  I can imagine the subsistence farming and farm life that he saw around him while growing up in rural Montana.  Paolini was just 15 when he began writing his story.  Not coincidentally, his protagonist is 15 years old.  Eragon is Paolini’s alter ego, and the dragon is the mythical friend that Paolini imagined as he read books such as “Dragonriders of Pern” amidst the majestic countryside surrounding him.  Palancar Valley in the story is none other than his very own Paradise Valley.  Paolini’s own story makes me wonder about a life that wasn’t meant to be for me.  I was also a teen with a vivid imagine and a penchant for enjoying fantasy.  I immersed myself in reading, and I loved creative writing.  The dust now covers the many fantasy stories that I wrote and never published.  One of my stories written years ago actually reminds me of “Eragon”—it features a naïve boy with a strong sense of wonder and a search for destiny, a youth stuck in a place where he doesn’t belong who is suddenly ripped away from all he has known, thrust involuntarily into an epic adventure.  Paolini must have felt the same way as Eragon, and he found it cathartic to draw from his own life experiences when writing his book.  I know he did, because did too I when I was young.  Paolini probably felt that he was “stuck” in rural Montana, and he escaped from its mundanity by reading about fantasy worlds far beyond Paradise Valley.  He turned his story into a gem of a book that is now a critical and financial success.  My own stories are still sitting on a shelf, waiting to be polished and published.  

Finally, reading Paolini’s book inspires me to write.  Paolini represents to me someone I could have been—a professional author.  Instead, I chose this life.  I don’t regret my choice at all.  Here I am in Korea living a great life.  Paolini is a bit of an alternate reality for me, representing a life that never was.  Fate has a funny way of messing with you.  Ten years ago I made a fateful choice not to do what I am doing now.  My life came full circle, and here I am living one of my dreams.  Writing professionally is another dream of mine, and something in my mind tells me that someday I will.  I do want to return to writing fiction.  This blog sustains me while I only have a little time to write.  Someday I will return to writing full time and will publish a novel.  I have some great ideas.  It is amazing to me to see how many of my ideas have turned up in popular books and movies.  Unfortunately, many are dated, and I have not had an original idea for a long, long time.  Time and responsibility have dulled my creative mind.  I used to daydream about great, lofty ideas, and now I am resigned to focus on day to day tasks.  Still, I’ve never lost my desire to write stories.  One of my dreams is to walk into a bookstore and see one of my books featured at the front of the store.  It won’t happen anytime soon, if ever, but I will continue to hope…and write.