mgedwards – Page 126

Ten Reasons to Visit Paraguay (A Satire)

Dear Reader,

Here is a list of reasons why you should come to visit Paraguay.

10. Pretend you’re a gaucho at a cattle ranch in the Chaco.

9. Learn some Guaraní phrases and have no idea what you’re saying.

8. Share some tereré with your ten newest Paraguayan friends.

7. Search for old Alfredo Stroessner memorabilia.

6. Speak Plattdeutsch and eat schnitzel in a Mennonite Colony.

5. Look for “Tigres” that look like jaguars.

4. Play “spot the knock-off” in Ciudad del Este.

3. Fish for piranhas in the Rio Paraguay.

2. Find the Taiwanese Embassy in Asunción.

1. Hunt for Nazi fugitives who assumed new identities.

You will only understand the profundity of this list by visiting the unique country that is Paraguay.

More About Paraguay

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Does the democratic process trump democratic institutions?

Lately I’ve been reading The Economist, one of the world’s premier magazines. I don’t particularly like it, but it seems to be the magazine of choice for policy wonks, so I knew I needed to become acquainted with it. I appreciate their obscure articles on far-flung places around the globe. However, I think they shamelessly editorialize and hide behind cute monikers such as "Lexington" (American affairs), "Charlemagne" (European affairs), and "Bagehot" (British affairs). Apparently the writers and editors want the full weight of The Economist’s reputation behind its editorializing rather than letting one writer put their own name on the line when they skewer someone like new British Prime Minister Gordon Brown. The Economist has strong opinions, and it lets its readers know it.

One standard belief of the magazine is that the democratic process trumps democratic institutions. That is, if a dictator is legitimately elected and then proceeds to rig up the political system to suit his own purposes, that is more palatable than prohibiting said autocrat from running for office and subduing democratic institutions. Preserving democracy in and of itself is more important than upholding democratic institutions. Do you agree with this contention? Is it preferable that democratically-elected Venezuelan President be allowed to asset control over Venezuelan public institutions, including the legislative and judicial branches, and the bureaucracy, strategic industries, and the press? Or is it preferable that the Thai military leadership stepped in to forcibly remove the previous, duly-elected prime minister under the pretense, true or otherwise, of preserving democracy? While neither is desirable, which would you prefer? The Economist would choose the former. I’m not sure I buy it.

Empanadas or postres?

Dear Reader, if faced with the daily choice of chicken/beef/ham empanadas (meat-filled dough pockets) or creme/carmel/cherry-filled glazed pastries virtually every morning for breakfast–because that’s all the Paraguayans seem to eat for breakfast–what would you do?

Oh, probably scream for a bagel with cream cheese. Neither of which is available in Paraguay. That we know of.