mgedwards – Page 102

The Credit and Blame Game

Two not-so-flattering character traits seem to help some people get ahead in life. One is to take as much credit for what others have done, and the other is to place as much blame on others as possible, thereby deflecting it from yourself. For those who are not so good at playing this game in life, it can not only be frustrating but make them potential targets of these so-called credit stealers/blamers who use them as stepping stones to further their agendas.

If you are a credit stealer and/or blamer, consider what you are doing to others. Your tendency to take too much credit at others’ expense is divisive, undermines them, and is not conducive to building rapport and camaraderie necessary to accomplishing mutual goals. This behavior detracts from esprit de corps. Secondly, continually blaming others for your own mistakes – or assigning blame when there really is no need to blame anyone at all — makes others – and ultimately you – look bad. If you are a credit stealer and/or blamer, you should realize that, as they say, “what comes around goes around,” and what you do unto others very likely will be done to you. It’s the antithesis of the Golden Rule.

If you are the kind of person who is generally modest and finds others taking too much credit for what you have accomplished, or if you find yourself too often the target of blame, you should consider adopting a few self-defense mechanisms. One, find allies who truly understand you and disregard others’ claims. They will help you balance out the detractors. Second, detach yourself from the situation. Don’t take it personally; remove yourself by focusing on what cannot be touched by the offender and avoid giving them ammunition to use. Thirdly, analyze their treatment of you and address it. If they are in a position of authority over you and go after you unjustly, which happens all too frequently, assess their behavior and respond accordingly. Finally, if they use coercive techniques to subdue you, then determine what will diffuse the situation and do it. Maybe it takes walking away. Maybe it means reporting their behavior. Whatever is the best approach, do it. Don’t let it go on unchecked and make you miserable – or worse. Life is too short to be let these type of people ruin it for you.

Remember, life is not a zero-sum game. You do not have to take too much credit or blame others to get ahead. And if you are a victim of this abhorrent behavior, change the parameters and rid yourself of this situation. You will be much happier for it – and likely more successful in the long run. The credit/blamer may still get ahead in life, but they don’t have to do it at your expense.

Battle of the Bulge

Like many of you, I need to lose weight. In fact, I need to lose a lot of it. For years my body has carried a dozens of pounds more than my ideal weight (granted, the experts who calculate a person’s ideal weight seem to think it’s good to be very thin—perhaps too thin). I’ve been too heavy since I was a child. My weight has fluctuated over time depending on how much activity I do, and every five years or so I swing from lighter to heavier and back again. I’m on my way down again and am about 15 pounds lighter than I was at this time last year.

I started working out aggressively in December because I’m tired of being fat. It’s been a battle. So far this month I’ve run or walked 30 kilometers, swam 600 meters, done some light weight lifting and sit-ups, cut back on eating bad foods, and faithfully taken vitamins and supplements. How much weight have I lost this month for all this work? Just 1.2 pounds. I have to admit that it’s disheartening to work so hard for what seems to be so little to show for my efforts. I take some comfort knowing that I’ve traded some fat for muscle, but I still have many pounds to shed. It’s cold comfort. I need to work harder to lose the pounds regardless of how much muscle I acquire. Fortunately, the belly that’s analogous to wearing a 20 pound sack of flour on the torso has been shrinking lately, making it easier to tackle the deep, entrenched fat. The “big guy” cackles I’ve heard for years are fewer and farther between than they used to be, so I know I’m heading in the right direction.

I won’t stop until I reach my ideal weight. History is driving me to reach that hard-to-reach milestone. Both my father and paternal grandfather died of heart attacks by age 61. That’s far too young. Although their unhealthy lifestyles undoubtedly contributed to their early demise, I know that I too am susceptible to the same fate if I don’t do something now to improve my health. I want to do it before I develop any health conditions such as diabetes that would force me to change my lifestyle. I would rather do it voluntary and if possible, avoid the same fate as my ancestors.

Little Critters

Click here for an updated version of this article with photos.

In the United States, “little critters” are best known as a children’s chewable vitamin brand. In Africa, this has an entirely different meaning. African “little critters” refer to the insects that invade your home looking for sustenance. They could be mosquitoes looking for blood, perhaps leaving behind malaria, or different types of spiders, the most common of which in Lusaka, Zambia are the “flattie” spiders so named because of their flat bodies (they can grow quite large with a leg span of up to several inches). Some are flying termites, gnats, putsi flies, or varied types of cockroaches. Most often, they are ants of many varieties, shapes and sizes ranging from tiny sugar ants to large army ants.

African homes are quite porous and make it easy for little critters to enter at will. Whether it’s the doors with gaps that leave ample room for entry or the holes in the concrete walls meant for ventilation but more often act as sieves, homes here are built with little thought given to keeping out the creepy crawlies that find them tantalizing targets. Occupants usually learn to live with them unless the “little critters” invade en masse or appear to be a physical threat. The mandibles of a large ant leave no doubt that one bite would hurt immensely.

We’ve learned to put up with the “little critters” for the most part, except when they take a liking to our kitchen or living quarters. When a stream of sugar ants attacks a morsel left on the kitchen counter, it’s time to dispatch them. When a spider preys too close to the bed, it meets a quick demise. Spraying poison inside the home is tricky business, and using clothes or paper towels to wipe them out is impractical when they come in great numbers. Thus, we usually put with them unless they cross our threshold of comfort. “Little critters” is one of the many aspects of life in Africa that makes living on this continent more challenging than in many other parts of the world.

More About Zambia

Top Ten Things to See in Zambia	Zambian Critters	Zambian Trees in Bloom
Iguazu Falls vs. Victoria Falls	Lake Kariba	James Bond in Zambia
Boomslang Barry	Elvis in Africa	Flat Stanley’s Adventure on the Zambezi River
When I Saw a Lion	Other Articles

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