Journey from Malawi to Zimbabwe via Mozambique (Part I)

My journey from Malawi to Harare, Zimbabwe on May 2 was nothing short of amazing.  I started off early from Cape Maclear on the shores of Lake Malawi.  I got lost in the small town and asked for directions.  A young, half drunk man I discerned was named “Philemon” pointed me in the right direction but then asked for a ride to a hospital in Monkey Bay, a town about 25 kilometers from Cape Maclear.  I normally am not so brash as to let a stranger in my car but had had a good experience with the locals, who were quite friendly and generally of the honest sort.  Philemon showed me the way out of town – but not before he tried to pursuade me to help a couple friends carry their buckets of water to some unknown destination elsewhere in town.  I declined because I needed to hit the road.  We left town and drove the rough road from Cape Maclear to the main highway.  I drove a bit fast and caught air a couple of times with my SUV, especially when I misjudged the dip of a culvert and went over it too fast.  Philemon’s personal story changed several times during the trip.  First he was sick and needed to go to the hospital, then the mother of his child in Mangochi, another town an hour from Cape Maclear, was disgruntled because Philemon never visited his son.  I ultimately convinced him to disembark when we reached the highway junction a few miles south of Monkey Bay.  Philemon was a tragic figure.  Young, unemployed and apparently penniless, it was obvious that he had a good heart but was emboldened to frivolity.  He seemed to prefer the bottle to facing responsibility and making a better life for himself.  As is so often the case, he seemed the type who blamed his circumstance on his surroundings, rarely owning up to the fact that he had a brain, two hands, and the physical wherewithal to change his life.

Juxtapose Philemon with a kindly youth named “Absent” I met in Cape Maclear who was anything but.  I befriended Absent, a worker at the lodge where I stayed.  He told me that he earns a pittance, $50 per month, and yet supports his parents and six siblings.  He lives with his parents, who grow corn and set aside some for the family to turn into corn (mealie) meal and nshima (corn porridge).  Absent gave me a tour of Cape Maclear and bought me a carton of Chibuku, an African corn-based home brew alcohol that most foreigners shun and locals drink because it’s the cheapest indulgence available.  Absent took me to his home and offered me a beverage.  Declining to drink anything made from local water so as not to fall ill from whatever might have infested the water, I asked for a Coca-Cola guessing that his family might have some.  A bottle of Coke is four times more expensive than Chibuku, but for about 75 cents you can buy a 500ml glass bottle and then return the bottle to the store or kiosk.  Absent’s family did not have any, so he sent his half sister to buy some.  I was shocked.  I was trying to avoid inconveniencing him, and he went out of his way to make me happy.  After we returned to the lodge, I gave Absent ten dollars to cover the cost of the Coke, Chibuku, and supplement his family’s income.  He initially declined my money and said that it was his pleasure, convincing me that he was sincere and was not simply spending time with me to make a quick buck.

Journey from Malawi to Zimbabwe via Mozambique

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

Harare, Zimbabwe

300,000 hits

Wow, this blog has had 300,000 hits since its inception in late 2004.  That’s pretty cool!  Thank you, dear reader.

World Adventurers used to have a higher readership but decreased to about 200 per week after it went on hiatus in 2008.  Since I revived it late last year, things have picked up a bit.  If you’ve stopped by to read this blog over the years, thank you.  Your patronage is much appreciated.

The Credit and Blame Game

Two not-so-flattering character traits seem to help some people get ahead in life.  One is to take as much credit for what others have done, and the other is to place as much blame on others as possible, thereby deflecting it from yourself.  For those who are not so good at playing this game in life, it can not only be frustrating but make them potential targets of these so-called credit stealers/blamers who use them as stepping stones to further their agendas.

If you are a credit stealer and/or blamer, consider what you are doing to others.  Your tendency to take too much credit at others’ expense is divisive, undermines them, and is not conducive to building rapport and camaraderie necessary to accomplishing mutual goals.  This behavior detracts from esprit de corps.  Secondly, continually blaming others for your own mistakes – or assigning blame when there really is no need to blame anyone at all — makes others – and ultimately you – look bad.  If you are a credit stealer and/or blamer, you should realize that, as they say, “what comes around goes around,” and what you do unto others very likely will be done to you.  It’s the antithesis of the Golden Rule.

If you are the kind of person who is generally modest and finds others taking too much credit for what you have accomplished, or if you find yourself too often the target of blame, you should consider adopting a few self-defense mechanisms.  One, find allies who truly understand you and disregard others’ claims.  They will help you balance out the detractors.  Second, detach yourself from the situation.  Don’t take it personally; remove yourself by focusing on what cannot be touched by the offender and avoid giving them ammunition to use.  Thirdly, analyze their treatment of you and address it.  If they are in a position of authority over you and go after you unjustly, which happens all too frequently, assess their behavior and respond accordingly.  Finally, if they use coercive techniques to subdue you, then determine what will diffuse the situation and do it.  Maybe it takes walking away.  Maybe it means reporting their behavior.  Whatever is the best approach, do it.  Don’t let it go on unchecked and make you miserable – or worse.  Life is too short to be let these type of people ruin it for you.

Remember, life is not a zero-sum game.  You do not have to take too much credit or blame others to get ahead.  And if you are a victim of this abhorrent behavior, change the parameters and rid yourself of this situation.  You will be much happier for it – and likely more successful in the long run.  The credit/blamer may still get ahead in life, but they don’t have to do it at your expense.