Here are some thoughts and sayings that I posted on Twitter and/or Facebook in January. To my knowledge, I made these up (for better or for worse). Sit back, relax, and enjoy the write!

1. While a constitutional sounds painful, it’s a great way to get the ideas out and the thoughts flowing.

2. In Asia, it’s okay to impose on someone but rude not to accommodate. In the West, it’s rude to impose on someone and okay not to accommodate.

3. I’m on a liquid diet to turn my keg-sized stomach into six-pack abs.

4. My son plays on the computer so much that it makes me want to screen.

5. When I was younger, I didn’t want to go to sleep because I wasn’t tired. Now that I’m older, I’m tired but won’t go to sleep.

6. I’m taking a social media break to write a book. What a novel concept.

7. Being the short one in a relationship does not make you less of a person.

8. I try to catch inspiration whenever it crosses my mind, but it is much too fleeting.

9. I ran into Trouble. He said to tell you hello.

10. I can’t keep my id from fighting with my ego and superego. It must be cerebral rivalry.

11. A loser wins when a winner loses.

12. The automated prayer request program has malfunctioned. You’re going to have to do it manually.

13. Wine is fine but puts me down every time.

14. You can’t put me in a box because my head is too big.

15. If you pay for something in Thailand, you baht it.

16. I think my brain power can be used as an energy-saving device.

17. I exercise before dinner to make room for more calories.

18. I’m preparing to render my treasure unto Caesar. Too bad Caesar doesn’t accept payment in moth and rust.

19. Measure as many times as it takes to get a consensus and then cut. If no agreement is reached, let it rot.

20. Fair is a four-letter word.

21. If you lose something profound, does it become prolost?

22. These thoughts and sayings may be insightful or inciteful depending on your disposition.

Click here to read the previous batch of Thoughts and Sayings.